even the strong need strength from others

From Sunday to Wednesday Joe and I waited for word about Alyn's funeral arrangements and what other family members were going to do about travel and such. Those were the longest days of my life. 

I was in a hazy fog. I had a 5 year old, a 2 year old, and a 3 week old to take care of but all I wanted to do was lay in bed. I wanted someone to shake me awake and tell me that I had been dreaming and everything and everyone was okay. I was in denial. Luckily we have amazing friends and church members here. They brought over meals and snacks. They took Corban and Jovi over to their houses so they could play. They came to our house to offer counsel and administer blessings. They brought toys and muffins for all three kids. 

I've been trying to write for the past few minutes how Alyn's death affected my husband, but I can't. He lost his brother, his friend, and his hero. He loved him so much. And he was shattered. He laid in bed for those first few days, zoned out to the world.  

I tried keeping it together enough to let him have this time to try and make sense of things. And it was hard. Someone watched out kids on Tuesday. At this point we were going to drive to Las Vegas so I declared we were getting out of the house to go to get supplies for our trip. We made it down the street before I was struck with the second of three migraines I would get that week. We went home and Joe took care of me. We kind of switched roles--one would be okay while the other cried and vice versa. 

Sometimes even the strong need strength from others. 

I was reminded of Jesus Christ's experience in The Garden of Gethsemane. Jesus went into the garden with his apostles to pray and to fulfill the atonement. While he was praying, an angel appeared and gave him strength (Luke 22:43). Jesus Christ is the one perfect being on this entire planet and he needed strength from an outside source to finish the hard thing set before him. 

I know that because of Jesus Christ's atonement he has perfect empathy toward anything I will ever experience. I also know that it is through the atonement of Jesus Christ that will eventually lift me out of this hazy fog and that my husband and his family will eventually feel peace and happiness again.