high school volleyball reoccurring dream

I have played volleyball for the majority of my life. I started in 9th grade, played in high school, played club, played in college, and now play pick-up games recreationally. I have had this dream so many times and it feels really authentic. So authentic, in fact, that there have been days where I actually believe I didn't play volleyball in high school! I have had to check year books and photos to sort through my confusion.

I have had the following reoccurring dream on-and-off for the past year:

I'm always in high school. And for some reason, I'm always in the hall ways, like I'm not supposed to be there. I can't remember where my locker is. On the lucky days I do find my locker, I can't remember what the combination is. I usually dial in random numbers and sometimes it opens. Inside the locker I see books, loose paper, pictures of an old locker mate I had in my actual high school, and candy. When the bell rings and people go off to class, I can't remember what class I have or where I'm supposed to go. I randomly pick a class and don't know anything they're talking about. In some version of this dream, some disaster happens (shooting, one of my actual kids is just out my reach to save them from something/someone). Through the entire dream, I am on the volleyball team, but I quit at the end of my junior year. And it almost feels like I drop out of school! I realize what a HUGE mistake I'm made and try and try and try to get back on the team. My coach won't acknowledge me. She won't tell me when try outs are for the following year. She won't let me back on the team. She won't let my teammates talk to me. She avoids me in the hallways. And when I sneak in the gym to practice, practice is cancelled! I finally wake up when I figure out when try outs are.

Diagnose that, Dr. Freud!

psych

This is not about the best comedy on T.V. but about being fooled into believing something so vehemently that I was crushed when I realized my mistake:

Joe has 2.5 years left of pharmacy school.

I knew this. I know this. But somehow my gifted math brain mis-calculated the time and I got excited thinking he was going to be finished with school in less than a year! Since this pregnancy has made my body react very strongly and very negatively toward chocolate, sympathy fruit candy can be sent instead.

2nd year ... here we come!

School starts back up for Joe in about 6 weeks. Where did the summer go?! When I was pregnant, Joe kept warning me that the 2nd year was the hardest and to be prepared to not have him home all that often. Yikes! When I sit down and think about it, I kind of hyperventilate! But this is the 2nd year of pharmacy school! We're actually making it!

letter to school

Dear summer school:

Please be kind to my husband. He is working 27+/- hours a week, studying for the PCAT, and his wife is expecting a baby. Please let us have some semblance of a fun summer without all the studying and books and grades that come with school. And, if it's not too much trouble, please let him get a good grade in his class and a REALLY good score on the PCAT.

Sincerely,

me

first day of school

It's that time of year again where I become a school widow. Joe is taking microbiology, physics, and a computer class.