blood of the innocent

I recently blogged about being stuck, about not being able to move forward. I didn't want to pray. I didn't want to read my scriptures. I didn't want to listen to the modern-day prophets. I can't give a specific instance, but I got the kick in the pants I needed and am trying to get and stay closer to the two beings who know EXACTLY and COMPLETELY what I am experiencing. 

This is what I have learned:

In The Book of Mormon, Alma and Amulek are forced to watch innocent women and children burned. Amulek cannot take it any more and asks why. Why do we have to watch this? Why can't we save them? Alma responds that he cannot save them because the spirit is stopping him because:

"the Lord receiveth them up unto himself, in glory; and he doth suffer that they may do this thing, or that the people may do this thing unto them, according to the hardness of their hearts, that the judgments which he shall exercise upon them in his wrath may be just; and the blood of the innocent shall stand as a witness against them, yea and cry mightily against them at the last days."

In the parable of the wheat and the tares, the servants of the householder discovered tares growing among the wheat. The servants asked the householder if they should go and rip out the tares, but the householder told them no! He didn't want to risk the servants ripping out those good shoots of wheat while they were trying to rip out the bad tares. The householder told his servants, "Let both grow together until the harvest: and in the time of the harvest I will say to the reapers, Gather ye together first the tares, and bind them in bundles to burn them: but gather the wheat into my barn." 

I recently watched a documentary on 9/11 called, "Out of the Clear Blue Sky". The interviews with survivors and families who lost people in the attacks were very poignant and, unfortunately, I could relate to. I sobbed and sobbed! Because of the choices of two evil people, June 8, 2014 changed my life forever; a life that I did not want changed.

I don't know a lot of the why's surrounding Alyn's murder. I may never know. But I do know that families are forever. And that will have to do for now.