I have been struggling with this new experience with all the associated trauma and grief. Some people have asked why I am upset, after all, Alyn wasn't my brother; I've had people try to compare their unique experience with my own; etc. etc. I have thought a lot about grief. This is what I have come up with.
One of my sister-in-laws explained her thoughts about grief being cyclical instead of linear; that she can move forward and upward, but she can still experience bad, hard, awful, triggered moments that move her downward. And then she moves forward and upward again and the cycle repeats.
To me, grief is grief; people are different. One thing can absolutely devastate someone and that same experience, to another person, could be the absolute easiest thing to over come. That being said, I HATE HATE HATE when people try to compare their experience with my own.
This made me think about grief and trauma like an earth quake: the focus of the event has the most damaging effect, and the further you get away from the focus the less intense it is and the damage gets less and less. BUT, the shock waves of the focus are there and affect a lot more than we could ever imagine.
My goal is to care for those around me, to love them and their experiences, and to help them as best I can. I love in Revelation as John describes the celestial earth and how God the Father will be among us, that he will "wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things (the things as they are right now) are passed away" (21:4). I am praying for that day when wickedness, sadness, grief, and trauma are no longer on this earth and I won't have to watch the people I love suffer!
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